Bubbles

Have you ever had a day when you woke up… just happy. (smile) I had such a good time last night. I really do have ‘good’ friends’. I use this word a lot, adore. I don’t know why i started using it but it completely fits the way i feel about each and every person in my life.

This ‘facebook’ thing, is hillarious by the way.. i have been hugging, chest bumping, spanking, food fighting hahaha you name it! and having some of the best conversations with some of the people that i truly do adore… so when i woke up this morning, feeling a bit hung over i might add, i had just had this overwhelming feeling of joy come over me. True happiness….. soooo great. To just sit and think of each and every person as if a movie is fast forwarding, pictures flashing with faces racing by… one huge smile after another…

this is going to be a good day…

I almost forgot.. So i pick up Gavin at school today and we are walking home. There is a boy about half a block in front of us. ‘Hey bubba, what is that little boy’s name? Isn’t he in your class? I recognize his mommy.” ..’oh that is’ so and so ‘he threw wood chips at me today’ what! “Why is he throwing things at you?” .. ‘i don’t know. i think he was trying to pretend it was a gun… and i don’t think that i should really play with him because we don’t play with guns huh?’ … ok… hahhaa this story goes on for a while and we clear that up.. but then we get to the real reason that i am writing..

‘ummmm mom… there is a boy that called me a bad word at school. I don’t want to say it because it is really bad and i don’t want to get in trouble… but i think that you should know what he said to me’.

So, i am kind of freakin out. What could be that bad that a 5 yr old could say that MY son has not heard or is afraid to say to me?? ok so what did he say??

‘he called me a f–ker’ ..

WHAT??????? why did he call you that? and did you tell your teacher?

‘i can’t remember why but he does not make wise choices with his words and i do not think that it is necessary to play with boys that talk that way’.. ‘oh and yes, i could not find my teacher. So i told the lady in the orange vest. He got in BIG trouble. He is not in my class, but his teacher made him call his MOM… I bet he will have to stand in the corner for a looong time’

HAA! I honestly had to turn my head while we were walking beacuse i almost laughed like 3 times. ‘it is not necessary’ LOL and who’s kid drops the f-bomb in kinder? OH, this is the best part. We get in the car and Fergie’s new cd has a ton of bad language.. Gavin is like ‘mom, we probably should not listen to this song anymore because what if i get so used to hearing this that i accidentally use these words at school.. that would not be good… and then i would sound like that boy’ SERIOUSLY.. i love that kid!!!

We all know that this is not necessarilly a difficult task for me… haha I am also coming from a place where i had finally understood what ‘true’ friendship was. I had never had that prior to moving to Ventura. … prior to knowing my husband for that matter.

I totally just deleted like 5 times.. haha DORK!!

I am ok now. ha

There are people in my life that are popping in my head as i am writing this, no names of course, that i KNOW have been placed in my path for very specific reasons. Some of which have been close to me for 10yrs and others not until after Tim.. the funny part about those people.. is that i don’t remember them NOT being there either because they are so ..??… almost ‘needed’ to me now. I honestly can not sleep until i have spoken to them.. or run something past them.. i need to make sure that i am not driving home sick to my stomach because i can not take back what my mouth has run away with again. Because as usual my hot headedness got the better of me and Tim was not there to give me the EYE.. haha …… and then i end up awake all night, again… hoping that someone else is NOT sleeping and can keep me company in my stupidity and maybe another non date show-er-uper story or 2 hahahaha and yes, i know that was no where near a word.

Where am i gonna find friends that wanna do that.. here? ;( boo hoo hooo JK hahaha
I am not replacing anyone are you kidding me?!

Do you see what lack of sleep does to me? .. I have met some wonderful people so far. Well, i do know a few people. So, i am not alone to begin with. Dan, Mia and the kids, Aunt, Uncle and 5 cousins with 3 wives one of wich just had a baby last monday (little girl), and a woman named Maile and her 2yr old Zachary that lives with Mia. Maile works for the Louise Pallau org. They are having a childrens outreach here in OC the 2nd week in Oct. Dan is totally involved with it as well. I will add a link to the side..

One of the things that i have had a hard time with these past few years is feeling that i need to be ‘useful’ .. Mia totally knows because of our countless conversations of course. So.. I have been able to be useful already here a few times, yeah! We went into Dan’s office and got to organize some packets, probably sounds boring to most but i love stuff like that.. and then just the other night the Louise Pallau org had a fundraiser, at this AMAZING house by the way. Gavin and i made some deserts and then i got to go be put to work, which i love.. just set up desert trays and fruit plates etc.. clean. Help be social with people that i have never met, clean and make sure that they were comfortable in a house that i have never been in, clean some more It was great. and i learned how to core a pinapple HAHA Isn’t life great?

… we had back to school night tonight. Gavin has a few ’special’ friends at school. It makes it nice that those just happen to be the moms that sit on ‘the wall’ where we wait for our children together. One of them looks like she could be my sister kind of. We sat together tonight and i ended up driving her home. She asked me if i was seperated because she never sees my husband.. i forget that that is the obvious first choice… turns out that her husband is an estates planner? I think thats what that is. So they are fully prepared if that should happen to them. haha funny conversation for back to school night.

So new friends or just good friends.. i think that the operative word is just ‘friend’…

Has been interesting to say the least. I thought that i had gone through Tim’s stuff already, but obviously that was not the case. The garage alone was like going through Sears. .. and my goodness the video equipment… one more death certificate this weekend.. hmm i thought that was over. … and cancelling the bills at the house, i just got used to seeing his name on them when they came in. He really is gone now. ….

Gavin and i are doing great here. We walk to school every day and most nights we go for a walk around the neighborhood. I have not checked yet, but i would say that it is about a mile walk every night. .. We stop and play at the park down the street before we come home. It really is wonderful. There are children everywhere. Dan and Mia are about a mile or so away. My aunt and cousins live within 15 minutes of us. One of them just had a baby last monday… well, they live a bit further away, but just the same. We truly are allowed to be our own family here. It is hard to explain why that is… it just ‘is’.

We have not connected with a church down here yet, but intend on going to Saddleback with Dan, Mia and the kids. We would have been going there already, but due to prior engagements and trying to get the house in Ventura settled.. all the driving back and forth has kept that from happening. … …. One of my cousins and his wife are also attending Saddleback.. So, it is pretty exciting for me to be able to come down here and almost KNOW where i am going to attend.

That’s it for now… me

Such a good question.. In all honesty, i did not think that i wanted to blog anymore, at all actually. And then, i knew that i did not want to blog anymore on THAT one. So, not knowing how to start a new one.. i fumbled around and guessed how to do this and … here i am. The title?? Well, awe insiring, it is not. But does it make you smile?? Because bubbles always make me smile and i am just tired of everything being mine AND my sons… i just wanted something of my own. I am silly.. bubbles are silly.. there you go.